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When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom to the hospital...
Q: Why did the end of the world not happen on 12-21-12? A: Chuck Norris
"Chuck Norris: born on May 6, 1945. Hitler: captured on May 7, 1945. Coincidence? I think not!"
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris walked into a street light pole. . . the pole said OUCH!!!!
If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Like for Clint Eastwood and dislike for Chuck Norris
Thinks Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. What do you know about Chuck?
"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris"
"if at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
"If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch."
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare that he only eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars, that is why there is no life there
"Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up
When Chuck Norris adds milk to Rice Krispies, there's no Snap Crackle & Pop. They shut the fuck up.
Boooooomm! The sound of Chuck Norris Makeing Love
"Spoiler Alert: Chuck Norris kills everybody, including the camera men"
Chuck Norris' Birthday is December 22nd... Good luck with that Mayans..