Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon NOT 1 MAN ANYWHERE IN HISTORY HAS EVER LOOKED AT A WOMAN AND SAID , YEA SHE'S PRETTY BUT IF ONLY SHE DREW HER EYEBROWS ON SHE'D BE SMOKIN HOT .
←Rate | 01-04-2024 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I get bored, I like to call in sick to places that I don't work. Today, I am getting written up at Kohl's.
←Rate | 01-04-2024 12:00 by Sam Comments (0)  


   messageicon Already messed up 2024. Maybe 2025 will be my year.
←Rate | 01-03-2024 13:52 by Rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is 2/366. This is a leap year, which means the earth gave you an extra day to make things how you want.
←Rate | 01-02-2024 12:31 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag but cashier's always check me out.
←Rate | 01-01-2024 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.
←Rate | 12-30-2023 13:25 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any website can be a dating website... if you're from India.
←Rate | 12-30-2023 12:53 by BindairDundat Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not sure what to wear to the living room for New Year’s Eve. I might not even go.
←Rate | 12-30-2023 12:44 by Rickstar Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay now that Christmas is over, I'm ready for summer!
←Rate | 12-30-2023 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon You women may be surprised to learn, that making us sleep on the couch isn't that bad. It's kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping... with a really angry bear nearby.
←Rate | 12-29-2023 06:07 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of your New Year resolution centering around smoking and dieting, how about working on not being an asshole?
←Rate | 12-28-2023 06:45 by FezzeeLarry Comments (0)  


   messageicon To get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on the porch.
←Rate | 12-28-2023 05:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny Christmas
←Rate | 12-27-2023 22:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After Christmas
←Rate | 12-27-2023 21:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try my best to be a thoughtful husband. So, I surprised my wife with a new bag and belt for Christmas ! The old vacuum cleaner is gonna run like new now .
←Rate | 12-27-2023 11:38 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I roasted a chicken. He pretended to laugh but I think I actually rattled him a little bit.
←Rate | 12-25-2023 21:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK, what genius decided to call them "Falsies" and not "Delusions of Glandular"?
←Rate | 12-25-2023 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason it's called laSAGna, is because after you eat as much of it as I do, parts of your body being to "sag on ya."
←Rate | 12-25-2023 10:41 by McF Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no profit in healthy people.
←Rate | 12-25-2023 08:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget to tip your food delivery drivers this Christmas as Santa is watching, who's also a delivery guy.
←Rate | 12-24-2023 15:59 Comments (0)  



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