Matt Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon versatile..........put him in any position and he will always perform
←Rate | 05-24-2009 00:05 by matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon How the hell did a generation raised on South Park and Family Guy become so offended by everything?
←Rate | 06-26-2021 10:19 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never eating a edible again. I watched an entire movie on mute and started crying because I thought I was deaf.
←Rate | 09-18-2021 13:50 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon in heat. Blame spring and short skirts... time to spray and pray.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 22:15 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Powered off the smart phone felt like I was having a heart attack...
←Rate | 05-19-2012 01:23 by matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon knows the last digit of PI.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 00:41 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
←Rate | 05-20-2021 17:24 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
←Rate | 05-16-2021 17:42 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff some guys pay money for in later life.
←Rate | 06-21-2021 17:39 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't hear any cicadas. I believe everyone is eating them all...
←Rate | 05-29-2021 19:26 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon If tomatoes are considered fruits, isn’t ketchup a smoothie?
←Rate | 05-17-2021 13:06 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don't open it. It's spam.
←Rate | 07-27-2021 16:23 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon On the internet, you have a better chance of surviving The Oregon Trail than a trip to WebMD!
←Rate | 05-16-2021 17:48 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon When men don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine. When women don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine
←Rate | 07-18-2021 10:51 by Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you can count the number of times you lit off fireworks on one hand and after this week some of you will only be able to count the number of times you lit off fireworks on one hand.
←Rate | 06-30-2023 22:58 by Matt Comments (0)  


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