yobs Funny Status Messages

   That mini heart attack you get when you reach in your pocket and your phone isn't there.

   In awkward situations, we all pretend to text.

   That hilarious moment when someone tries to make you jealous, when you honestly don't give a fuck.

   it is never too late to be what you might have been.. :D

   Saying you'll wake up early in the morning to get something done, then in the morning convincing yourself it's not important.

   Karma takes too long ..... I'd rather beat the sh%t out of you.

   To-Do List : Nothing [✓]

   These days: Smart Phones, Stupid People

   I can't live without y̶o̶u̶. FOOD...

   ❒ Single. ❒ Taken. ✔ Helping Mario get his biatch Peach back!

   What you do when people sing happy birthday to you: 5% - Sing. 10% - Smile. 85% - Sit there like a dumbf#ck trying to figure out what to do.

   Why do banks attach chains to their pens? If I'm trusting you with my money, you should trust me with your pens.

   The guy who discovered milk….What was he doing with that cow?

   ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ Eating

   First time on a roller coaster. Final Destination.

   just had my LEFT side removed. I'm all RIGHT now

   I know a kid named Jay, but we call him J for short.