Nate004 Funny Status Messages

   During sex you burn as many calories as running 8kms. Who the f*ck runs 8kms in 30 seconds?!

   You remind me of my pinkie toe because I know I'm eventually going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my place.

   I Absolutely hate when my touch screen touches things I had no intention of touching.

   What did girls do with a 174 picture photo album of a night out before Facebook?

   No Cyndi Lauper...you're so very wrong. Girls don't just wanna have fun...they want a whole lotta sh!t. Christmas blows. Sincerely - A broke boyfriend.

   I f*cked a fat chick in an elevator...it was wrong on so many levels.

   I know how to spell, so why do my words make no sense when I try to verbally spell something for a friend?!

   How can everyone have the "best gf/bf in the world" on Facebook? I'm pretty sure someone is lieing

   Someone should come up with a cell phone charger extention cord.

   Imagine if people were punished like dogs and had our noses rubbed in wrong doings? "Aw man, forgot to take out the trash" Welp, untie that bag and get your face in there. Look at him, he knows what he did.

   My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my pen!s and asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating your dinner" was not the right answer.

   the words "epic" and "swag" must be abolished at some point. But then again Snoop Dogg has epic swag.

   I think aussies were the first to jerk off into a sock. How else would they come up with the boomerang?

   When life sucks I sit back and enjoy the head