@Torren_T Funny Status Messages

   To my Family & Friends. There were probably many times this year when I may have disturbed you, troubled you, pestered you, irritated you, bugged you, or got on your nerves. So today I just wanted to tell you. Suck it up cupcake! There are NO CHANGES plan

   Santa calls me a Ho three times when he sees me. Like he knows me or somethin...

   No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

   I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.

   I have the cape... I make whoosh noises...

   A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

   Virgins... Thanks for nothing...

   I'm about to overdose on Christmas music...

   Expect the entire internet to run slower for a while. 11 million nerds are sucking up the bandwidth to experience the Cataclysm.

   Just got some Tiger's Blood. Thanks Charlie!

   I don't flirt with women, I flirt with disaster.