Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”
←Rate | 10-05-2011 12:50 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Three Apples changed the world. The first one tempted Eve, the second inspired Newton and the third was offered to the world half eaten by Steve Jobs. RIP
←Rate | 10-06-2011 02:29 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 Jobs that changed the world: HAND, BLOW and STEVE!
←Rate | 10-08-2011 14:22 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon A burp is just a fart that took the elevator.
←Rate | 10-09-2011 05:25 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don't take anything I say personal or too seriously. I'm just an idiot with internet access.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 14:41 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon High Heels are a man's invention to make it harder for a woman to run away.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 02:55 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things people say after watching a movie: 5% - I can't wait for the sequel. 5% - That was a great movie 5% - that's was a complete waste of money 85% - I gotta pee.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 03:09 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't tell me to make myself at home if you don't want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
←Rate | 10-15-2011 02:09 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been knocking for ten minutes. Don't people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
←Rate | 10-15-2011 02:45 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't take it personal, if they don't know you personally.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 03:53 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a woman doesn't cry over you anymore, it means another man is making her smile.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 03:22 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon DAUGHTER : “I am in love with the neighbor, so I am running away with him.” DAD: “How is he going to take care of you when he doesn't even have a job?” DAUGHTER: “Dad, I am only reading the letter left by Mom.”
←Rate | 10-18-2011 07:06 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Irony of a woman – she spends hours putting on makeup, exotic perfume, expensive jewellery and outfit but when people finally look at her the first thing they say, "Wow nice a$$"
←Rate | 10-18-2011 13:41 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish bugs understood the concept of personal space
←Rate | 10-19-2011 01:14 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon That rather uneasy moment when you are walking with your girl and you see a lesbian with a chick hotter than yours.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 15:09 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 00:47 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money is not a problem. The problem is I don't have Money.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 12:15 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have a drinking problem. I have a drinking passion.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 12:39 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $10. Guess who got his car washed?
←Rate | 10-21-2011 01:49 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do men chose to mess with a lot of mediocre women when they can have ONE great one? I guess Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) excite them.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 02:10 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  




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