SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just wrote my rent check in hieroglyphics, that should delay things for a while.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 08:50 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting to feel bullied by all the anti-bullying commercials.
←Rate | 04-10-2012 13:50 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which sounds classier, "dong," or "schlong?" I'm writing a letter to my grandmother.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 08:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
←Rate | 01-05-2012 10:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Poodles aren't as absorbent as they look.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 11:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The two words that get me in the most trouble are "Why Not?"
←Rate | 07-10-2011 14:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess what I'm proudest of is my ability to make the tough choices in hypothetical situations.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 11:32 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would You Like a Table?” … “No not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please.”
←Rate | 09-16-2011 09:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two of the greatest mysteries of the universe: 1) Why are we here? 2) How come Chinese restaurants don't serve breakfast?
←Rate | 09-29-2011 09:58 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe the economy wouldn't seem so bad if we put happier pictures on money. Like George Washington on a jetski.
←Rate | 08-05-2011 20:40 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was flipping through the Victoria's Secret catalogue and now I have a craving for ribs.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 10:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you die from constipation? I'm a little worried with how full of sh!t some people are.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 08:26 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really don't want a birthday card. Just give me the $4 you would've spent on it. If it makes you feel better sign your name on each dollar.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:24 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn't enough motivation to get off the couch.
←Rate | 01-12-2012 11:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon After 10 Dos Equis beers, I think I'm the most interesting man in the world.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 12:21 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when cashiers ask you if that's everything. Oh no, I'd also like all this invisible sh!t.
←Rate | 07-07-2011 10:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade's gonna suck!
←Rate | 07-18-2011 18:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lighters should have an attached sticker that reads: Caution: Will go missing in a week.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 09:29 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say they give all politicains the Federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour....See how fast things change then!!!!
←Rate | 09-20-2011 10:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to be naked and baked without wondering why the two words don't rhyme.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 18:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  




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