SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Instagram is down! I'm freaking out! What are you people eating? How are your pets? What the hell is happening???
←Rate | 06-30-2012 11:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My fake ID's finally ready. Can't wait to order off the kids' menu!!
←Rate | 02-22-2012 09:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Target sends you coupons for rope, garbage bags, and bleach, abort the mission. They know too much.
←Rate | 02-23-2012 09:50 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that Mitt Romney has a son named Matt Romney kinda makes you hope for 3 more sons named Mett Mott & Mutt.
←Rate | 12-31-2011 08:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just had a very positive experience with Verizon Customer Service. What the hell is this world coming to?
←Rate | 09-23-2011 12:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear cast of The Simpsons, Why is it that the asian characters are white and the white characters are yellow? Sincerely, confused.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 10:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon A heads up to girls on Facebook .. if your status says "single" and your profile picture is you with your cat - Well then that is why
←Rate | 01-22-2012 12:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isn't “fun to be around.”
←Rate | 06-21-2012 08:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out, "Cowboys & Aliens" is NOT about Arizona's immigration laws.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 11:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should make Harry Potter brand condoms Protect your slytherin from hogwarts while you're in her chamber of secrets.
←Rate | 07-30-2011 00:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon That was insensitive. I asked you to stop being stupid without considering how incredibly difficult that must be for you.
←Rate | 10-06-2011 10:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never just put the seat down; the lid's going down with it. If I gotta work, so does she.
←Rate | 08-03-2011 13:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 09:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon How hasn't someone invented a smoke detector that can tell the difference between "blazing inferno" & "toast"?!?
←Rate | 11-12-2011 10:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're drunk when you can speak fluent Ozzy Osbourne.
←Rate | 08-04-2011 17:26 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
←Rate | 06-20-2012 10:00 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
←Rate | 04-14-2012 10:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a new assistant for my knife-throwing act. Also need a large rug and a gallon of bleach.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 10:58 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon With subpar graphics and no discernable plot, TurboTax is, hands down, the worst video game I have ever played.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 10:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered.
←Rate | 05-23-2012 10:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  




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