ff1241 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I will not apologize for being awesome.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 23:26 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Again, I can't hear you, because… I HAVE A BULLHORN
←Rate | 12-01-2010 22:59 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Because I have a bullhorn and you do not! Your fancy book learnin' should've taught you that the strong do what they want, and the weak endure what they must.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 22:58 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, here's the deal: If you're into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 22:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, you can't be the first, but you can be the next.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 21:58 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: Soccer is a game invented by European ladies to pass the time while their husbands cooked dinner. Go practice your throw-ins, you cheese-eating surrender monkey!
←Rate | 12-01-2010 21:56 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If your on a dating website and didn't post a picture of yourself. It should be mandatory to disclose the amount of teeth you will show up with in you mouth on the first date.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 13:24 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You look like the type of person who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 03:21 by ff1241 Comments (17)  


   messageicon If this were Lord of the Flies, you'd be dead already.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 03:19 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Please speak up.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 02:55 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking is a problem only if you're not good at it. To me, everything you listed is proof that I am very good at it.”
←Rate | 12-01-2010 02:54 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was looking for a date on Craigs list only to find out that "420 friendly" did not stand for maximum weight limit.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 22:48 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon AR15 rifle with scope- $1,600, 900 Rds of Lake City XM193 AF 5.56 loaded in 30 magazines $600, Emergency food suplies $1000, Cost of everything during the zombie apocalypse = Priceless
←Rate | 11-14-2010 22:01 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon so awesome that "The Most Interesting Man in The World" is jealous.
←Rate | 11-14-2010 21:29 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Zombie hunting, It't not just a sport, its survival!
←Rate | 11-10-2010 18:08 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon after watching "The Walking Dead" premiere tonight on AMC. I'm going to dream about zombies tonight. Its okay becasue with my skills I'm sure I'll be the zombies nightmare.
←Rate | 11-01-2010 03:33 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish cleaning the house was as easy as cleaning out my email.
←Rate | 10-28-2010 14:28 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says If two morons fall in love I could care less, but for the love of God please DON'T reproduce and make more of you. There are enough idiots in this world without you making more.
←Rate | 10-22-2010 17:34 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Was asked if I really believe in zombies. I informed him that no, zombies are not real and that its just a pop culture thing. He then walked away pleased with answer I had given him. Now I can't wait to see the look on his face when the next zombie outbre
←Rate | 10-20-2010 14:50 by ff1241 Comments (9)  


   messageicon thinking up new and creative ways to kill zombies.
←Rate | 10-17-2010 20:28 by ff1241 Comments (0)  




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