SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I like how the package for cotton swabs says don't put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never fall in love with an a$$ man, unless you're prepared to offer him the moon.
←Rate | 08-09-2011 14:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there's a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
←Rate | 08-10-2011 13:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a non-smoker, "Thank You for Not Smoking" signs make me want to be thanked for other sh!t I'm not doing.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 14:16 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon After 10 Dos Equis beers, I think I'm the most interesting man in the world.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 12:21 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watch out! It's quite possible some of my best mistakes haven't been made yet.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 12:22 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see you're playing stupid. Looks like you're winning too.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 12:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with… “Are you sitting down?”
←Rate | 08-12-2011 12:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 15:53 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Iowa state fair is selling a fried stick of butter. Glad to see you guys are still pro life.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 11:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is NO WAY that Bert and Ernie are gay. They haven't changed their outfits in 25 years.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 13:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Time heals everything... except a stupid tattoo.
←Rate | 08-13-2011 16:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon why are most king-size comforters so ugly? My bed is not an obese woman in need of a flowered, polyester muumuu.
←Rate | 08-14-2011 19:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm curious how many of you are Austrian boys. Show of Hans?
←Rate | 08-15-2011 13:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It' s impossible to sneak Oreos out of this loud & sticky package they're in. Damn you Nabisco!!
←Rate | 08-15-2011 13:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 16:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you get to be older, "friends with benefits" just means your partner has a solid 401k and a kick a$$ dental plan.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 18:16 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just accidentally mixed 'I cant believe its not butter' with my regluar butter...now I dont know what to believe.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 18:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 18:19 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's hard to be naked and baked without wondering why the two words don't rhyme.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 18:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  




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