Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A man buys his wife a car and she says "Can't you get me something that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds?" He brought her the bathroom scale.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 21:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never make the same mistake twice... I like to fill my day with a wide variety of mistakes from a large number of sources.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 21:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon MySpace is the VHS of the internet.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 19:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend pointed out the other day, that the book/film "New Moon" is bassically just one girls choice between Beastiality, or Necrophilia... hope that gives you ladies out there a little perspective on "romance."
←Rate | 05-26-2010 18:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I choose to be different because being normal is boring.
←Rate | 05-26-2010 19:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when the mind found the answers, the heart changed the question...
←Rate | 05-26-2010 19:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am known for my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around.
←Rate | 05-26-2010 19:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! Nope, it's just not working...
←Rate | 05-26-2010 19:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
←Rate | 05-26-2010 19:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the author of my life.Unfortunately I'm writing in pen so I can't erase my mistakes
←Rate | 05-26-2010 19:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man went to see a psychiatrist, wearing only Gladwrap shorts. The shrink said, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
←Rate | 05-27-2010 22:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if children who stutter are the result of pregnant women using vibrators.
←Rate | 05-27-2010 22:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since practice makes perfect, I must thank my parents for not givin' up on the first try. :)
←Rate | 05-31-2010 15:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not feeling myself today... anyone else wanna try?
←Rate | 05-31-2010 15:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I hear someone say “STOP” my brain says “Hammer Time”
←Rate | 06-01-2010 08:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon LOGOUT: The hardest button to click on Facebook.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 08:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't let life get in the way of your dreams... go back to sleep!
←Rate | 06-01-2010 09:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think of Canada as a different country, I think of it more like, America's Hat, because they've always got us covered. Same goes for Mexico, I think of them as Americas Legs, because without them, none of the labor would get done.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 12:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon ► Play The Moments ▌▌ Pause The Memories ■ Stop The Pain ◄◄ Rewind The Happiness.
←Rate | 06-04-2010 07:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2 eyes to see... 2 ears to hear... 2 hands to hold... 2 legs to walk... but 1 heart? Because the other was given to someone else... for us to find.
←Rate | 06-04-2010 07:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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