Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Don't you think its time for Life Alert to update their commercials.

   They should really outlaw cursive handwriting nowadays. Especially for the ones who can't spell.

   Remember what your elders used to say, "Birds of a feather flock together. If you're an eagle, don't hang around chickens: Chickens Can't Fly!

   Don't be sad, if you think you're not important to someone....or something, Just Google yourself.

   You always feel a sense of accomplishment when you finally get that food stuck between your teeth with your tongue....So get ready for Thanksgiving.

   It's funny...they leave the vault doors wide open in banks but somehow have those .50 cent pens chained to the tables.

   Hey John its your grandmother. Could you tell me how to work this cell phone you got me for Christmas? ~ Sent via payphone.

   Because we're all so offensive and opinionated, anything about politics, religion, race, current events, and alcohol will always get the most votes and comments.

   it me or is majority of your high school friends more ‘Antisocial' these days on Facebook. Like we're all strangers or something…..No? Ok its not just me.

   Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I'll rememeber; involve me and I'll understand.

   Tough times don't last, but tough people do.

   You ever had a dream so damn good, you were pissed right after you woke up because you didn't want it to end....then you tried to go back to sleep to continue it but failed?

   Remembers the time when we memorized phone numbers of our friends, family, and spouses. Now we can't even remember our parents' numbers without looking down at the phone.

   It's extraordinary when a person comes in contact with a spider web or a bug lands on them, they become a Kung-Fu master.

   Try NOT. Do…or do not. There is no try. ~ Master Yoda (Star Wars)

   You're always like a "deer in the headlights" when you look at the menu at Dairy Queen....You just don't know what to get.

   I'm glad people don't talk the way they spell, text, or type.

   Forget about differences, let's talk about our similaritites. You ever wake up in the middle of the night, and you don't know what freakin' day it is?

   November 8th 2011: Call of Duty: MW3 + Alcohol + Women = A Night to Remember

   trust and friendship can be tested by how long a person borrows an item of yours for so long and return it back in the same condition.