Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon ever ask why
←Rate | 01-27-2023 00:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ask why
←Rate | 01-27-2023 00:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon game over
←Rate | 01-27-2023 20:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon MY WIFE DIVORCED ME BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T BELIEVE MY TESLA AUTODRIVES ME TO THE GAY BAR AND THEN TURNS ITSELF OFF, CAUSING ME TO HAVE TO SPEND 4 HOURS IN THERE ASKING FOR A RIDE HOME
←Rate | 01-29-2023 05:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Realtors are legally required to tell you if the house ghosts are too judgy
←Rate | 01-29-2023 05:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cleaning
←Rate | 01-29-2023 09:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold out that you can milk a cow and get instant ice cream.
←Rate | 01-29-2023 13:08 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok Jack Frost! You need to quit playing freeze tag with Elsa and Subzero from Mortal Kombat. Because you all keep missing each other, and it is starting to affect the rest of us.
←Rate | 01-30-2023 10:53 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Question.. If you hit a person with an EV will you be charged for battery?
←Rate | 01-31-2023 05:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hippity hoppity your kneecaps are now my property 😃
←Rate | 01-31-2023 20:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: If your wife asks you if the outfit she's wearing makes her look fat, just tell her that if she ran at the gym like she ran her mouth at home, she wouldn't have to ask that question.
←Rate | 02-01-2023 06:15 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tom Brady's retiring, again.
←Rate | 02-01-2023 10:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if the groundhog is too fat to see his shadow, do we get six weeks of jelly doughnuts?
←Rate | 02-02-2023 06:01 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon s a there a tax I can pay to end Covid-19 or does that only work with Climate Change?
←Rate | 02-02-2023 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon COFFEE: The original first responder.
←Rate | 02-02-2023 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who would like to see Punxsutawney Phil bite the finger of the person that wakes him up every Groundhog Day?
←Rate | 02-02-2023 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw my shadow this morning. It looks like it will be six more weeks of dieting.
←Rate | 02-02-2023 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here in DC Metro, no one really cares about Groundhog Day. We’ve got rats bigger than that.
←Rate | 02-02-2023 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what’s the protocol if my annual prostate exam falls on February 14? Do I take flowers with me for the doctor or what?
←Rate | 02-02-2023 14:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon f I owned a horse I'd name it before riding through a desert.
←Rate | 02-02-2023 14:09 Comments (0)  




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