nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   Brett Favre came out of his hole and didn't see his shadow. That means only 5 more weeks until football starts.

   we have some potentially severe weather headed our way this evening. please make sure you have your emergency kit: alcohol, lube, porn, blow up girlfriend, pain pills, heroin and a football helmet. Stay safe my friends!

   I can't stand those people who hate football but still go along to games to deliberately cause trouble and ruin them for everybody else. Bloody referees.

   - Why pay for a comedian, when you can watch liverpool play football

   Don't get me wrong, I love football just as much as the next guy but if she want's to do it during game time, football is the last thing on my mind.

   I imagine hell to be a room full of drunk guys wanting to tell you about their fantasy football team...

   There's a dentist in Minnesota that kills lions and bears. There's a football team in Minnesota that can't beat lions or bears.

   Union electicians are working the superbowl power outage, the game will resume in 3 weeks.

   Name 2 things that get smoked in bowls?.......Marijuana and Notre Dame Football

   Who wants to replay the Superbowl next weekend, just so we can have another party?

   ‎"You see football takes concentration and skill....SQUIRREL!!!!" - Wade Phillips/NFL Head Coach

   The Colts would of lost using a Nerf football. . .

   I refereed a women's football match yesterday. It was brilliant. I booked two for muttering under their breath, one for the silent treatment and I sent one off without explanation and left her wondering what she'd done wrong.

   My favoritte thing that the caption of my high school varsity football team ever said to me was, "Would you like paper or plastic?"

   Although preseason football is like non-alcoholic beer, it feels like the lockout added 10% of alcohol content

   Ladies.. Yall had 7 months to get mentally prepared for Football Season. We dealt with yall Loser Wives shows all year!

   MY Fantasy Football thing is about the Cheerleaders.

   NFL: "Madonna's message of 'world peace' does not reflect the views of the National Football League"

   the next time someone says nothing is impossible tell them to try and dribble a football.

   on the positive side, somewhere in a third world country people now have these sweet Pittsburgh steelers Superbowl champions shirts and hats to wear!!