K-Mac Funny Status Messages

   VelVeeta....the expensive government cheese.

   Don't need to worry about zombies here in West Virginia....no brains.

   We're getting so obese, they've added new plus sizes.....Huge....Gigantic and Oh my God, it's coming our way.

   Got these new jeans made by children in a sweat shop. A friend asked, "Ed Hardys?" "No, Fed Hardlys".

   When a Mormon knocks on your door to tell you the "good word" you don't answer....why the hell would you want one to lead your country?

   Finally, that rare and elusive Monday we like.

   Wow, I'm so high I can see my house from here.

   Thanks to Jersey Shore, Crayola has a new color....Whorange.

   I wish my neighbor's dog would take the hint that my leg just wants to be friends.

   Don't tell anyone, but I just farted...lets keep it our little secret.

   The one good thing about Monday morning, It's the farthest from next Monday you're going to be.

   You don't need a parachute to skydive......unless you want to do it again.

   Wow, Mitt. First animal abuse and now a school bully.....and you think you're a good example?.......of what?

   Time to re-boot, these ones are worn right through the sole.

   If life hands you lemons, hey.... free lemons.

   I'm pretty sure my dying wish would be to stop dying.

   This guy in line at store had breath so bad his teeth turned sideways just to let it out.

   Can't wait for the Super Moon tonight, I wonder what color it's cape is?

   Cinco de Mayo. I don't see what the big deal is. The Mexicans were victorious over the French.........who can't beat the French

   Happy Earth Day...don't mind my tire fire......just can't seem to put it out.