gil Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Today is national drug take back day. For your convenience, I will be placing a collection basket outside my front door.
←Rate | 04-28-2018 09:14 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your chances of becoming an Olympic Athlete are less than 1 in 10,000. Think about that for just a second. All Olympians should be proud of just having the opportunity to participate.
←Rate | 08-12-2012 08:56 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon more kisses begin with Budweiser or good weed than Kay
←Rate | 04-23-2011 20:44 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonder Woman an icon representing male objectification or female empowerment?
←Rate | 07-01-2017 23:35 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Has Tim Tebow been signed yet?" - Robert Kraft
←Rate | 05-12-2015 15:37 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Herman Cain justifying being accused of sexually assaulting 4 women is like a drunk defnding 4 DUIs
←Rate | 11-09-2011 11:31 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure when Charlie Sheen said he had "Tiger Blood" in him, he was referring to the golfer, not the animal. duh!..Winner!
←Rate | 03-08-2011 04:54 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is International Women's day AND ALSO Fat Tuesday.. Coincidence??...I think not
←Rate | 03-08-2011 14:10 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Easter Bunny just left me a bunch of tiny brown chocolate eggs. Can't wait to eat them. Yummy!
←Rate | 04-23-2011 22:14 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Prince was hallucinating when he wrote "When Doves Cry". Has anyone ever actually heard a dove cry?
←Rate | 09-04-2017 12:35 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hey Andrew Breibart.... Wecome to the club!" - Vince Foster
←Rate | 03-01-2012 18:46 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon In response to recent rape allegations, TV Land has pulled all episodes of the Cosby Show off the air. My life is ruined.
←Rate | 11-23-2014 18:57 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon FRIEND: Why do you spend so much time on Facebook? ME: I have serious digestive issues. I spend a lot of time on the toilet.
←Rate | 03-10-2023 14:22 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Casey Anthony trial ends today. Roger Clemens trial begins today. Coincidence?.... I think not.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 15:09 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon M&M Mars are stupid if they don't shoot a commercial featuring Mayweather and McGregor.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 10:57 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember WWE admitted everything was staged entertainment? I'm waiting for politicians to make the same announcement.
←Rate | 09-25-2023 16:43 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eggs are so expensive that I am eating steak, lobster, and caviar for breakfast now.
←Rate | 02-17-2023 13:00 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon RIP Barbara Walters. Beaver Cleaver's TV mom died. Eddie, Whitey, and Lumpy must be devastated.
←Rate | 12-31-2022 00:21 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm seeking scientific study assistants and participants to publish a study called "The Perfect Orgasm" - Pay is $20 per session
←Rate | 01-03-2023 23:14 by Gil Comments (0)  



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