joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 09:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Conserve water on earth day, drink more beer....
←Rate | 04-22-2010 13:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop everything you're doing... Think about me... You're welcome...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reminder: Buy low and sell high... Unless it's Pot... Then you're buying and selling high...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Work like you don't have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon used the search term "the perfect job for me" on google and it laughed at me...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon found out they sell Universal Remotes at Wal*Mart... I cant believe power like that is available to just anyone! Crazy!
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people's noses and feet are built backwards. Their feet smell and their noses run.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good news is, we destroyed the Ring. The bad news is, we disrupted a hemisphere's worth of air travel and two dozen national economies... our badd...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm no volcanologist but has anyone tried throwing in a few virgins?
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody hates me because I'm so universally well-liked...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon No man goes before his time....... Unless the boss leaves early...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why a “fat chance” and a “slim chance” mean the same thing.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon all for the paperless office, but doesn't think it should stretch to the toilets...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon was thrown out of a casino for misunderstanding the use of a crap table.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon will resist peer pressure. All the cool kids are doing it...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:43 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon an organ donor (see inside for details)...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:44 by Joser Comments (0)  




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