John Y Funny Status Messages

   So let me get this straight...The new twenty dollar bill is going to feature Harriet Tubman using the men's room at a target?

   I prefer my water to be frozen into cubes and completely surrounded by vodka and tonic...

   The FBI interviewed the Orlando Shooter 3 times. Just an FYI to you killary supporters that think she's so great.

   Michael Brown's Mother is set to speak at the DNC tonight. Now I wasn't going to watch anymore of this crap, but I don't think that I'll be able to look away from this inevitable train wreck.

   It's not the heat, it's the humidity...That's just dumb, and it shows your stupidity!

   anybody else hoping to see John Hinckley Jr at the next Hillary rally?

   Now Dammit! The sign says "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service." It said nothing of pants! It's so hot...

   Now when she say's "deplorable" does she mean like when her husband stuck a cigar in places it didn't belong? I'm just trying to set a precedent here...

   Guy's if you want to do your own thing in the upcoming new year, get your wife/girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria's Secret catalogue for christmas.

   Children's berry flavored delsym on the rocks... For when you're sick but still want a drink to sip on.

   How was the peaceful protest at Berkeley last night? Did they quitely sing kumbaya?

   Its national shave your... Well, tomorrow is valentine's day. Just an FYI.

   I've decided on my Valentine's Day date...Its going to be whoever sits down next to me at Fricker's. Fingers crossed that its a girl this year!

   If you can't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...

   "You know I'm a dude right?" Are not the words you want whisped in your ear today!

   If psychics and palm readers knew anything they'd have hand washing stations.

   Here's a thought...How do blind people know when to stop wiping?

   The guy standing in front of me should probably step out of line and go grab himself some sort of antidiarrheal medication. All he had to do was sneeze for me to be pretty sure that he has the stomach flu...

   Don't eat the green snow!!!

   I feel like everybody judges me when I say Worcestershire sauce...