Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon 95% of my news feed is now agenda driven. The other 5% is: "There's a bed and a chair in a room. If someone enters the room, how many pancakes each did the seat cushion and the mattress eat?
←Rate | 06-10-2020 06:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The latest dose of social media insanity comes to us via the TikTok inspired 'Slap A Teacher' Challenge. Good ol' TikTok... where never before has the Lowest Common Denominator been so well represented.
←Rate | 10-08-2021 13:08 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm like Crisco in a can. White, round and filled with fat.
←Rate | 08-07-2020 15:55 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I applied for a job at Bed Bath & Beyond. They put me in the Beyond department.
←Rate | 09-06-2020 16:30 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cruises: Floating Golden Corrals with drunk people.
←Rate | 09-28-2021 03:16 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention! Due to the extremity of Hurricane Laura's sustained winds, the States of Texas and Louisiana have just issued a toupee' alert.
←Rate | 08-26-2020 23:04 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Betting on the Kentucky Derby is like paying for a hooker. You drop a load of cash on two minutes of excitement.
←Rate | 09-05-2020 08:46 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, I've decided to come clean. The reason I sit at the kids' table on Thanksgiving is just so I can hide the green bean casserole under my grandson's plate.
←Rate | 11-23-2020 07:14 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The greatest comedians don't say funny things, they say things funny.
←Rate | 12-05-2020 22:33 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The subject of entomology really bugs me.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 12:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa: I can't wait for the cookies I'm gonna get in Colorado.
←Rate | 12-16-2019 16:13 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a woman sends me a "Hey there, good lookin" message, you can be assured she sent it to five other guys too. Kidding. She sent it to me by mistake.
←Rate | 12-09-2019 06:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Prepare yourself. The family Christmas pajama pics are headed your way.
←Rate | 12-25-2019 11:09 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to buy a set of salad plates. I asked the saleslady at Ross if they had any 8" plates. She said, "Plates are like men." I asked, "How so?" She goes, "They say 8", but they're actually 6".
←Rate | 01-10-2020 06:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon How effective is the absorbency of an oak leaf? Asking for a squirrel.
←Rate | 03-15-2020 08:58 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided that throughout this Coronavirus ordeal; especially to those at home practicing Social Distancing, the term "calories" regarding all foods shall now be referred to as "Boredom Alleviation Points."
←Rate | 03-19-2020 07:11 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should change the name of our galaxy from the Milky Way to the Snickers. Let's face it, we're all nuts.
←Rate | 04-22-2020 13:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lego is offensive to people with bad knees.
←Rate | 06-18-2020 20:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joey Chestnut set another world record for eating the most hot dogs in the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest. Tomorrow, he'll win the record for the biggest dump.
←Rate | 07-04-2020 16:48 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The gender reveal device that started those fires in California must've said the kid was gonna be a flamer.
←Rate | 09-07-2020 19:03 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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