ff1241 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just like a baby I like to drink my dinner from a bottle.
←Rate | 07-03-2011 11:16 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you turn down the car radio, hang up the cell phone and remove you head from your ass you might just notice the emergence vehicle with it's emergency lights flashing and siren blaring trying to get a destination that's more important than yours.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 18:04 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever done something so stupid that you blamed it on being drunk when you were totally sober just so you looked like less of a dumb ass.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 21:24 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found out yesterday that apparently saying I have dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 51 in a 15 mph school zone.
←Rate | 06-16-2011 03:37 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just wanna be friends to but with just your va jj.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 20:57 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NOTE: The term "Proper Sense" has now replaced the term "Common Sense" because Common Sense is NOT so common anymore!
←Rate | 06-01-2011 03:00 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 17:36 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I need to recheck my facebook account to remember what I did this past weekend. 
←Rate | 05-30-2011 16:50 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problems with heroes is that most of them are buried too soon befor they have a chance to become old men.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 18:28 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon having a staring contest with a bottle of Jack.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 15:33 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The term weekend could have a whole new meaning tomorrow.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 23:16 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do I knowingly pick the bad choices in life. I know I'm going to pay for it in the end but it sure looks like its going to be fun in the mean time
←Rate | 05-19-2011 01:34 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Zombie squirrels will feast on your nuts.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 23:37 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it safe for white folks to say the n word while doing karaoke ?
←Rate | 05-13-2011 03:07 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not sure why any man would be in a polygamist relationship just increases the odds of having a psycho ex wife.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 05:10 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 20:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would really hate to be a politician...mostly because I couldn't say "fock you, a55hole" any time that I felt like it. :)
←Rate | 05-04-2011 01:52 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon and took him out. This is NOT an Obama victory, but an AMERICAN victory!!
←Rate | 05-02-2011 22:19 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe I'm eagerly waiting to hear Obama speak and tell me something other than his resignation.
←Rate | 05-01-2011 23:37 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We fought wars so we wouldn't care about royal weddings.
←Rate | 04-27-2011 01:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  




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