K-Mac Funny Status Messages

   I don't feel so bad about not having an up to date phone. I just saw a woman jogging past my house carrying a Walkman.

   Republican convention next week.... Hurricane Isaac is predicted to hit Florida next week.... Even Mother Nature doesn't like Republicans.

   I could really, really use some shenanigans.

   Mark Zuckerburg's Facebook fortune dropped to a new low of 10.2 Billion today....How is he ever going to survive??

   This world is in bad shape. Education would be nice or maybe just learning to spell before you put your thought into the public forum.......What the hell is a "ceeling fan"?

   When will Britain learn? They have a wedding, we kill Bin Laden...they have the Olympics, we land on Mars.

   Why do people always pick their noses when they're at a stop light when everyone can see them.

   Second black out in India in two days......They really need to upgrade those tech support phone line so this will quit happening.

   Major blackout in India....looks like everybody who needs tech support is screwed.

   You call it Russian Roulette, I call it waking up on Monday.

   Trying to change my ways.......Now when I pick my nose, I don't wipe it on people anymore.

   All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.

   Drove by an automated speed sign, it said "SLOW DOWN! YOUR SPEED IS 45MPH" It was right next the sign that said "Speed Limit 45 MPH".

   I find that a ducks opinion of me is largely influenced by whether or not I have bread.

   Boy, the "Chiller" channel has dropped the ball this afternoon. It's showing a movie titled "Midnight Movie" where a deranged killer stalks movie patrons.

   I've been struggling with my laziness. I can't decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.

   I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.

   My life may be a mess, but I know where everything is.

   Why do huge people by tiny cars? They look like they couldn't find clothes to fit, so they're wearing a car.

   The only stimulating book I want to read is "50 Shades of Gravy"