John Y Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I drink a shot of whiskey a day as a toast to the great life I've lived. I finish the bottle for other reasons.
←Rate | 07-02-2015 16:12 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that the 4th of July has come and gone, who's Right's, Belief's, or Heritage should we isht on this week?
←Rate | 07-06-2015 14:22 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you put anything in your mouth that Bill Cosby gives you, he'll probably be putting something else in there in the very near future. Somebody should probably just kill him!
←Rate | 07-16-2015 16:37 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't remember how the saying goes, but I think it's Rum before Whiskey, before Vodka, = Heart Palpitations.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 11:10 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the 42 friends that are currently available to chat at 3:11 in the afternoon... Get a job you losers! Oh, wait...
←Rate | 08-18-2015 15:13 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just gave my "friends list" a good douching. It's been a while, and it was getting a little funky with all of those people in there.
←Rate | 11-02-2015 11:46 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon This No-Shave November is just a guy thing right? I'm not a big fan of surprises.
←Rate | 11-02-2015 13:45 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well apparently the Tiger Blood that Charlie Sheen has running through his vains came from the same hooker that Magic Johnson was boning.
←Rate | 11-16-2015 14:59 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've heard enough of this Black Friday crap. The sooner we realize that all Fridays matter the better off we'll be as a society.
←Rate | 11-27-2015 13:28 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: Where others entertain you with their boredom.
←Rate | 12-16-2015 15:49 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just an FYI, whether I know you or not if you're a guy and you send me a friend request and your profile picture is you in a mirror shirtless mmm bye bye.
←Rate | 12-18-2015 22:23 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had a WTF moment when Adele stoped singing and immediately turned into Mrs. Doubtfire. I also just learned that she has a potty mouth, and I like it!
←Rate | 12-23-2015 21:31 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember a time when I was overly optimistic about the great things that were to come in the new year. Well...here's to not stepping in dog siht while checking the mail in 2016.
←Rate | 12-31-2015 15:02 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was beginning to wonder if the winter's directly before a presidential election year were all warmer than usual due these lie spuing politicians and the amount of hot air hey were expelling.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 16:40 by John Y Comments (3)  


   messageicon I've decided not to workout today. Instead I'll be working on my ABS of beer.
←Rate | 01-16-2016 17:32 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Success is 1% inspiration 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
←Rate | 02-09-2016 14:02 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday a friend asked me if I would like to go on a Valentine's Day date, but when I asked her who it would be with and if I knew her she got all pissy and stormed off. Another day alone I guess, I just can't catch a break.
←Rate | 02-13-2016 18:45 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon The woman in front of me at Kroger had a box of wine, a flower arrangement, some cat treats and two packages of batteries. Is it wrong for me to assume that she is single and treating herself to a day in?
←Rate | 02-14-2016 13:46 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, they go in a bucket, they cost 60 bucks so you'd better...
←Rate | 02-14-2016 15:17 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon 9 out of 10 men prefer women, and that other guy, well he prefers one of those 9 men.
←Rate | 03-21-2016 14:33 by John Y Comments (0)  




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