Fazzy Funny Status Messages

   Wisdom: A friend of mine had two small kidney stones. He didn't want surgery so he went to the bathroom and "wisdom" out.

   I've made some terrible life choices over the years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions.

   Math Rock is a term meant to describe music that is complex in rhythmic structure. But in reality, all rock is Math Rock. Some is Calculus, some is Algebra, some is Arithmetic and some is Pre-K Introduction to Numbers.

   I've had just about enough of the "avocado this", "avocado that" stuff. Somebody please get me a calzone with sausage and pepperoni. 😛

   "The sum of the carrots are inversely proportional to the squared exponent of the cabbage divided by the vinegar and multiplied by the mayonnaise." ~Cole's Law

   The price of great success is the greater fear of losing it all in the end.

   Protestants. Some man didn't like God's version of Christianity (Catholicism), so they decided to fix what God got wrong.

   I'm donating my body to science... fiction.

   You used to be able to somewhat cross the line. Nowadays, you can't come anywhere near the line. You used to be able to somewhat push the envelope. Nowadays you'd better pull back the envelope.

   Anne, I had to quit my profession as a gynecologist. I got tunnel vision.

   It is said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." What about the other eye?

   Everyone's up in arms over Pepe LePew romancing a cat. Newsflash: Most men are skunks and we romance pu$$y. Same difference. And I can promise you that trait isn't learned from a cartoon.

   The subject of entomology really bugs me.

   Daylight Saving Time. Where we lose an hour of eating.

   Bike Week is here at Daytona Beach. It's noisy and crazy! Speaking of noisy and crazy, next week is Tyke Week. It's a bunch of 5 year olds on Big Wheels driving on A1A hounding their moms for grilled cheese and putt putt golf.

   If gas prices continue to rise, I'll have no choice but to purchase a windmill to power it.

   Joe Biden just came by for a visit. It's funny because by the time he leaves, the toilet's never flushed and the cat's always pregnant.

   Oh no! They blacklisted Pepe Le'Pew. Now where am I gonna get my "moves"?

   If society continues on its present course, the future won't be like The Jetsons. It will be like The Flintstones.

   Manwich Sloppy Joe Sauce is changing its name to Genderneutralwich.🥫