goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Did a law pass that I don't know about which requires all minivans to go 15mph under the posted speed limit on AM freeways?

   will not discriminate against the following: race, religion, sex, or creed. However UGLY... I have to draw the line somewhere!

   How many men does it take to open a beer? None...it should be open when she brings it to ya.

   Wish life could be simple like the good ol' days. Like page 756!

   On this day thirty years ago.. Mtv still played music videos.

   Today's lunch: Redman and Dr. Pepper..slimy yet satisfying.

   Dear Employer, I have worked insane amounts of hours for you; shed blood; even went through a divorce because of you. Is it too much to ask for some decent toilet paper up in here?

   Wow, just drove by the gas station and the guy changing prices has a chair camping out...no good can come of this!!

   After reflecting back on the movie Young Guns, I would say Charlie Sheen finally made it to the "spirit world"

   I take an on ramp to the freeway as if I'm heading to the checkered flag...wish everyone else did!!

   Boba Fett was an embarrassment to us all- Dog the Bounty Hunter

   If you find out your guest has no toilet paper from the other side of the door, you have FAILED as a host.

   Just got pulled over for going 73mph in a 55mph. After the 20 min lecture the Officer said he was giving me a warning as he handed me a slip to sign... I looked at him puzzled so he says "April Fools!"...jerk

   Every thing I know about politics, I learned from School House Rocks.

   A good box of wine will turn any ordinary meal into an extraordinary meal.

   To the redheaded guy on CSI Miami...you're not Clint Eastwood so knock it off!!!

   We can get a man to the moon, but somehow we can't manufacture the head of a car wash broom to stay on....

   You can tell a lot about a person by how many times they hit re-fresh...

   Admits he chooses a Presidedntial Canidate on the basis that they resemble someone on the cast of Saturday Nite Live.

   To the makers of fruitroll-ups: when I enjoy your deliciousness, I mess up the touchscreen on my smartphone. Work on that please...