SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn't hate.
←Rate | 07-28-2012 11:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere out there, a man named Private Number is sobbing uncontrollably because no one ever takes his phone calls.
←Rate | 07-28-2012 11:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have a summer home, but I do have several different email addresses.
←Rate | 07-28-2012 11:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Frogs always look like they just found out there's no free Wi-Fi.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 07:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, everybody under 25 just shut up for like FIVE minutes.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 07:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a button on my oven that says 'stop time'. I am pretty sure it means 'stop timER' but I don't push it just in case.
←Rate | 07-23-2012 18:39 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
←Rate | 07-23-2012 18:38 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because something is meant for kids doesn't mean it won't be amusing for adults. Boobs are a great example.
←Rate | 07-23-2012 18:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Probably drank too much coffee this morning. Probably drank too much. Probably too much coffee. Drank too much. Coffee. Probably.
←Rate | 07-22-2012 20:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando a few times in your life.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 18:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, the best kind of birth control is just good lighting.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 18:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mind going to work. It's that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 18:56 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not enough people realize the value of slacking off.
←Rate | 07-16-2012 19:45 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a skeptic I find it very hard to believe in myself.
←Rate | 07-16-2012 19:44 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a fancy new bathroom scale that tells you what percentage pizza you are.
←Rate | 07-15-2012 09:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imitation is the sincerest form of crabmeat.
←Rate | 07-15-2012 09:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bed Bath & Beyond sells like 7 things that people actually buy and then just a bunch of other stuff that's been there since 1998.
←Rate | 07-15-2012 09:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could illegally download clothes from the internet.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 10:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had skylights installed at my place last night and I don't get why the people who live upstairs aren't okay with this.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 10:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm almost drunk enough to comment on a YouTube video.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 10:01 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  




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