@gnarleycharley Funny Status Messages

   How on Earth did Gorillas become experts on glue, they live in the rain forest. What are they gluing?

   Goooodnight Vietnam !!! RIP Robin Williams one of a kind...

   Best worm parent advice... Try to sleep in kids.

   Its Memorial Day Weekend and we have the media shoving Kanye & Kim’s wedding down out throats? The brave fallen solders of WWII fought so hard to defeat the Nazi’s so we can have the freedom to change the channel.

   Watching the Walking Dead and eating strips of Tri-tip soaked in BBQ sauce is turning out to be a horrible decision.....

   My Facebook movie got a X rating...apparently Face Book is way more into my X then ME!

   Not since the OJ chase has American been disappointed with a slow white bronco

   2 hours ago · WOW... I think Easter is getting here earlier and earlier....apparently I missed Justin Bieber's neighborhood egg hunt.

   Oh, I would love to stay for your yoga class....but, I think I would rather floss with barbwire or give myself a tattoo.

   Trying to put together last night events. No tiger in the bathroom. No face tattoo, ....can't find my pants

   .. .----. -- / -... .-. .. -. --. .. -. --. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / -... .- -.-. -.- ? ? ? Screw texting I'm bringing Morse Code back

   I just walked into my house and yelled "Nobody I'm Home"....I think I need a dog.

   Since the Statue of Liberty was a gift from France, I'm surprised she didn't come with both arms raised....Have a Happy 4th of July!

   I'm always nice to the new guy at work, because you can make bank on the show "Undercover Boss"

   The Chupacabra came down the chimney and left me a Piñata full of coal ...that means 6 more months of Tequila! Happy Cinco De Mayo

   Wake up on a strangers couch...check...use GPS to find out where I am....check ....walk to eat alone....check....return Tyson's Tiger...

   If they can't elect a Pope in a week they should declare Overtime...and just play ROCK BIBLE SCISSORS

   Just saw Styx at the County Fair....Wow,  if you gave them machine guns they could double as the Euro-Villans  from Die hard....

   make sure you spell Harry correct and don't leave out the word "Prince" in your search for Harry Nude pictures....

   Can't wait to buy Randy Travis's new album "Down and Loaded"with the hit single "Pants On The Ground"