minnie haha Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon So, this whole Mayan 12/21 thing - does anyone know if that's Mayan Standard Time or Mayan Daylight Time? Asking for a friend.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 15:22 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
←Rate | 12-07-2012 18:49 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made it through 1/1/1, 2/2/2 all the way through 12/12/12! Whoo-hoo! I'm feeling pretty invincible....Bring on 13/13/13!!!
←Rate | 12-12-2012 19:24 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yo, Australia! Is the apocalypse happening? I need to know if the orgy I'm currently having is validated or if it will just make my husband upset.....
←Rate | 12-20-2012 20:09 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I scroll through my FB feed this holiday season, I find myself overcome with emotion and love. And then I remember I've had a lot of tequila and eggnog and I pass out on the floor.
←Rate | 12-20-2012 21:18 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon The next time you come across a Mayan making a calendar, leave him the f*** alone!
←Rate | 12-21-2012 11:12 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone know what an 'Ofah Queue' is? Because that's what my husband said he got me for Christmas this year.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 12:09 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I survived the Mayan Apocalypse and all I got was this lousy hangover.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 12:10 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a Chia Pet.....don't ask.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 20:40 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra.
←Rate | 12-24-2012 15:26 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon This man's so impressed with my driving that he got next to me just to show me he's not wearing a ring. Thanks hon, but wrong finger..
←Rate | 12-26-2012 14:15 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bourbon is the elixer of the gods. Therefore, I'm not an alcoholic - I'm divine.
←Rate | 12-30-2012 13:51 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kiss me ~ it's midnight somewhere.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 11:43 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon News Alert for New Years Eve!! Government warning!!! According to the Surgeon General: When women consume alcohol, it impairs their ability to say “no”! So.... who's buying me a drink?
←Rate | 12-31-2012 11:59 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where the heck is that "Polka" button on Facebook that everyone keeps talking about?! I have my accordion and I'm ready to boogie.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 14:48 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Contrary to what you may think, my moral compass is not broken. It just happens to be pointing toward hell
←Rate | 01-01-2013 12:01 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just invented a wireless, battery-free, hand operated hair-dryer.....I think I'll call it a 'Towel'.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 14:32 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon well..... so much for my 'not killing time with Facebook' resolution.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 15:28 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon AACK! I just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of tag in 1996. Ohhhh it is ON!
←Rate | 01-01-2013 20:18 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Advice please. I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had “you win” written on it. Do I celebrate with white wine or red?
←Rate | 01-02-2013 19:52 by minnie haha Comments (0)  




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