Baddie Funny Status Messages

   Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons, but I think they forgot to mention Morons.

   Bros over Hoes! ...Unless she's not a hoe.

   GRAMMAR: The difference between knowing YOUR sh!t and knowing YOU'RE sh!t.

   My wife is always walking into things and getting hurt. Yesterday it was our bedroom while I was shagging her sister.

   God should have made stupidity painful.

   Religion- The longest game of Simon says ever.

   We all know someone who breathes way too damn loud.

   Everyone deserves one free kill in life.

   I hate it when strangers say silly things like, "I don't bite" Yeah, because the first thing I think when I meet someone is "OMG! This b!tch is gonna bite me!"

   When a midget smokes weed does he get high? Or medium?

   You are so ugly...as a kid, pedophiles used to give you candy to get out of the van.

   The extra muscles it takes to smile after losing an Oscar is such a workout it keeps the actors thin for the whole next year!

   Son: Where did I come from daddy? Dad: Your Mother Son: Where did she come from? Dad: THE DEPTHS OF HELL!!!!!

   What is it about waking up that babies find so traumatic?

   Angelina Jolie is so malnourished, that Madonna is going to adopt her.

   My GF's an adult film actress .She's going to be furious when she finds out!

   What kind of children go to heaven? Dead ones.

   I'm pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.

   The uneasy moment when a midget is getting high

   Are you crying? No, my eyes are taking a pi$$