smeebert Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "My vote is for sale. Anyone want to one up Madonna? I'm taking offers..."
←Rate | 10-20-2016 22:15 by Smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kate plus eight is being cancelled, I think we can all together say eight times....thank God!
←Rate | 08-15-2011 23:34 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon still wonders why my friends in high school all had those plastic film containers and no one owned a camera?
←Rate | 09-02-2013 19:56 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Deluxe never used 2020 planner - super cheap!
←Rate | 04-03-2020 15:49 by Smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook. Why are you trying to lure me into people's problems?
←Rate | 01-10-2013 15:02 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Levi Johnston is part native, he just took back his apology to Palin
←Rate | 08-26-2010 21:42 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Internal Revenge Service
←Rate | 05-14-2013 13:28 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Terrorists are like salmon, life is good until the seals show up
←Rate | 06-12-2011 20:38 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
←Rate | 12-09-2015 03:08 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched 'Pan Am" ….. Now there's an example where the union seniority killed the industry, all those lovely stewardesses are now old flight attendants
←Rate | 09-26-2011 02:11 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can always tell which friends have no life, you can never get a poke up on them.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 14:04 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you drive under the speed limit then yes you are boring
←Rate | 10-02-2013 02:00 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates getting texts or calls on my iphone it interrupts my game, don't call me!
←Rate | 11-23-2010 22:17 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do we protect movie ticket nerds behind 4inches of glass and a bank teller with only a pen on a chain?
←Rate | 12-08-2010 13:04 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon You said you would go out with me only if it were our last day on earth... my pickup line tonight
←Rate | 05-20-2011 23:48 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alec Baldwin wouldn't have been booted from the plane today if he played the part of the pilot
←Rate | 12-07-2011 00:02 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can get away with anything at Costco if you wear a hairnet
←Rate | 03-17-2014 00:05 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bribed a cop this morning, handed him my drivers license with a doughnut underneath
←Rate | 09-29-2010 20:51 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feds are indicting Clemens for perjury, said they knew he was on steriods when they saw his nose grow
←Rate | 08-19-2010 16:13 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weird, thousands of people working from home getting paychecks and not a single one has called in sick all week.
←Rate | 03-27-2020 21:07 by Smeebert Comments (0)  




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