Karen Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
←Rate | 10-05-2014 11:44 by KAREN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentine's Day is for losers so don't get me anything, I say as I lovingly kiss my boyfriend and he says nothing because cats don't talk.
←Rate | 02-14-2015 11:54 by KAREN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish boobs did the bra thing without having to wear the bra
←Rate | 12-19-2013 12:53 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't hear from you at least every 2 hours, I will assume you hate me and the feeling shall be mutual. I can't control my crazy.
←Rate | 10-08-2013 13:24 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have to be careful with my kids when I talk about the death of their father. It's a sensitive subject and I don't want them warning him.
←Rate | 03-24-2016 09:24 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just a girl, standing here...50 yards away, waiting for the restraining order to expire.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 07:08 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I said I was good in the kitchen, I assumed you meant being bent over the dishwasher.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 12:56 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon The secret to success is in my bra.
←Rate | 12-06-2013 04:24 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time you go on a road trip for 3 days, can you leave me a note? - Me to my cat.
←Rate | 10-06-2014 02:34 by KAREN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Husband asks me to hammer the nail in while he holds it . Most action I got all week.
←Rate | 07-11-2014 01:46 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the most dangerous/damaged when I'm quiet. When I'm yelling or b*tching there is still hope.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 05:39 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon He died doing what he loved...failing to read my mind.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 08:27 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon So all I really wanna know is can I trust you with my heart and my butthole?
←Rate | 11-30-2013 06:09 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my husband, it's not a tickle fight until half my ribs are broken and I've sharted myself.
←Rate | 03-22-2016 16:22 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Simmer down girl in the front row. It's a yoga class not a strip club.
←Rate | 09-19-2014 10:19 by KAREN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spiked the milkshake. No one's leaving my yard.
←Rate | 12-12-2014 01:25 by KAREN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for the fecking blockbusters gift card granma.
←Rate | 03-22-2016 16:37 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not wrong very often but when I am it's his fault.
←Rate | 01-10-2014 08:02 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to refer to it as a "Magic Carpet Ride" when I sit on HIS bearded face and HE works that tongue like Harry Potter wielding a wand.
←Rate | 03-12-2016 09:04 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at gunpoint.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 12:05 by KAREN Comments (0)  




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