J.D. Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I would wish my father a Happy Father's Day on Facebook but I blocked him
←Rate | 06-16-2013 17:21 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he's finished.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 11:25 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hummmmmmm Chocolate - (Homer Voice)
←Rate | 12-18-2012 10:05 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon RIP 2012 (2012-2012)
←Rate | 01-01-2013 23:42 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook = Poor mans therapist...
←Rate | 03-12-2013 19:58 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon You lost your phone because it was on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 14:49 by J.D. Comments (1)  


   messageicon Don't forget Comic Relief this year. Just £5 can help a disabled African learn the difference between an intruder and his f**king girlfriend
←Rate | 02-25-2013 22:22 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to take a shot for every "like" I get on this status....then again....I'm taking shots whether you b*stards like it or not.
←Rate | 03-18-2013 16:18 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon The longest distance in the world is from Monday morning to Friday afternoon.
←Rate | 07-01-2013 14:05 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear God, Happy Father's Day.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 12:35 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend asked me if I see myself having kids...I told her to stop asking me childish questions.
←Rate | 05-23-2013 13:43 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape!
←Rate | 02-06-2013 11:37 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I am bored, I like to park on the side of the freeway and stick a blow dryer out the window and watch the cars slam on their brakes
←Rate | 02-06-2013 11:36 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's more to Alcohol than life!!!
←Rate | 05-19-2013 12:41 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever let women in the army, I salute you. Women on their period, with a gun... Unstoppable!
←Rate | 04-23-2013 13:22 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon bored? send a text to a random number that says "I hid the body" what's next boss?
←Rate | 01-08-2013 12:06 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have to get along with everybody. You're out-numbered.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 08:31 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our economy would probably be much better if people only spent less time using facebook during work hours!!!
←Rate | 01-03-2013 20:54 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. :p
←Rate | 02-01-2013 11:26 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a bird poo on a Smart car. Totaled it.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 13:07 by J.D. Comments (0)  




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