Fazzy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Me to my Doctor: Hey, Doc. Every time I drink coffee, I get a sharp pain in my eye. Doctor: Do you remember to take the spoon out of the cup?
←Rate | 10-15-2020 08:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." What about the other eye?
←Rate | 03-26-2021 10:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon People up north whine way more about cold winters than we Floridians do about the hot summers. It may have something to do with feminine swimwear.
←Rate | 01-15-2022 10:31 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Year, New Me Yeah, Right Moment: I thought I'd start wearing glasses to appear somewhat intellectual. No one's buying it though. They all say the same thing, "Uh sir, there's no glass in those frames."
←Rate | 01-01-2020 13:04 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all of your keys at the same time.
←Rate | 02-20-2022 11:12 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid, people often said that I was the "little engine that could." Turns out that I'm the "big old caboose that couldn't."
←Rate | 09-26-2020 16:19 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEWS FLASH! I was hired to proof read the original 10 Commandments. Well let me tell you that I found a big mistake with #7. It should have read: Thou shalt not omit adultery.
←Rate | 01-15-2020 03:57 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon You used to be able to somewhat cross the line. Nowadays, you can't come anywhere near the line. You used to be able to somewhat push the envelope. Nowadays you'd better pull back the envelope.
←Rate | 04-04-2021 16:12 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Irish River Dance was started by a family that had 11 kids but only 1 bathroom.
←Rate | 03-17-2022 08:51 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taco Bell is the only place where you can still get gas for $1.39.
←Rate | 03-09-2022 08:44 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This isolation was getting to me, so yesterday I decided to go jogging. Big mistake. My thighs kept rubbing together and my legs caught on fire.
←Rate | 03-25-2020 07:54 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It doesn't matter who wins the Presidency. The entire world's zeitgeist (the spirit of the age) is going through a tumultuous change, and no man or group possesses the power to affect it.
←Rate | 10-02-2020 05:59 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to my girlfriend's house to make mad, passionate love to her. Then have her fix us something to eat. That's what's meant by bed and breakfast, right?
←Rate | 12-05-2020 07:21 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor's daughter came up to me and asked, "Do you know you have a skeleton inside you?" I said, "Yes, Rebecca. I do!" She goes, "Is he mean?"
←Rate | 06-29-2020 11:10 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried watching a hockey game last night. I was bored, so I opted for a little more excitement. I switched over to the Fireplace Channel on Netflix.
←Rate | 10-17-2021 10:25 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon What they need in Afghanistan is Larry the Kabul Guy. He'd git 'er done.
←Rate | 08-16-2021 11:56 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Live life on your own terms. I certainly do. The terms were 0% down and a dollar a month in perpetuity. I'm only hoping I have some perp left in my tuity.
←Rate | 07-15-2020 12:44 by Fazzy Comments (1)  


   messageicon Bike Week is here at Daytona Beach. It's noisy and crazy! Speaking of noisy and crazy, next week is Tyke Week. It's a bunch of 5 year olds on Big Wheels driving on A1A hounding their moms for grilled cheese and putt putt golf.
←Rate | 03-11-2021 15:52 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been at a hotel in Tampa for a few days. I like playing tricks on the maid. You know that paper band that comes wrapped around the toilet seat? Before I leave, I put it back on. Yesterday, she left me a bowl o
←Rate | 09-01-2020 11:11 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm donating my body to science... fiction.
←Rate | 04-30-2021 21:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  




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