Fazzy Funny Status Messages

   If you don't make it in Hip Hop, there's always IHOP.

   Okay. So they can make fake meat out of plants. Try really impressing us and make a watermelon out of a London Broil.

   A cross pollinator is a worker bee who asked the queen out on a date, but was told she only liked him as a friend.

   Manwich Sloppy Joe Sauce is changing its name to Genderneutralwich.🥫

   If someone has "some colledge" listed on their education history, the fact that they misspelled "college" is a pretty good indication that "some 3rd grade" is probably a more accurate assessment.

   Super Bowl parties are great! (If you aren't into football.) I'm into football, so no thanks.

   I know that people want to go back to work because they're broke, but there's still a serious virus floating around. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that being broke is better than being dead.

   I randomly changed all the contact names in my phone. However, I can't remember who they actually are. So far today, I've been texted by Willy Wonka, Spongebob Squarepants, Charlie Sheen, Nancy Pelosi and Jerry Springer.

   My idea of surf and turf is salt water taffy served on Easter grass.

   I wish there was a vaccine that would make me immune from having to hear all the whining over the Covid vaccines.

   The first time I ever removed my clothes in front of a woman, she smiled and said it reminded her of an old song. "I asked, "Let It All Hang Out?" She said, "No. The Itsy Bitsy Spider."

   I often wonder what would have been had John Lennon decided to stay home that night.

   Media sensationalism is playing a role in the Coronavirus. Still, the virus is nothing to sneeze about. (See what I did there?)

   All of us are tools to some degree. It's just that some are jackhammers and some are 1/4" nut drivers.

   The Coronavirus has me upset to the point where I've lost weight... 20 lbs total! I have no appetite whatsoever so this thing needs to go away. But not just yet. I want to lose another 30.

   When you get to be my age, older women interested in younger men are no longer classified as Cougars. Especially in my case. They're more like Laughing Hyenas.

   The After Christmas Diet: Breakfast: Leftover lasagna Lunch: Leftover lasagna Dinner: Leftover lasagna Dessert: Leftover lasagna Beverage: Fresh squeezed leftover lasagna

   🎵I'm dreaming of a White Castle Just like the ones that we all know Where the square buns glisten and I am wishin' That there's no chunks I'll have to blow 🎵

   Imagine you in heaven eatin' yo daily bread and the devil walks by with Popeyes.

   If you think that a mustache is what made Mr. Potato Head gender specific, you've never met my cousin Vincenza.