Fazzy Funny Status Messages

   Upside: I had a dream that NASCAR teamed up with NASA and came up with a flying car. Downside: It only made left turns.

   A cross pollinator is a worker bee who asked the queen out on a date, but was told she only liked him as a friend.

   If you think that a mustache is what made Mr. Potato Head gender specific, you've never met my cousin Vincenza.

   On a happier note... Cuomo is going down faster than Kamala Harris at the company Christmas party.

   Manwich Sloppy Joe Sauce is changing its name to Genderneutralwich.🥫

   If society continues on its present course, the future won't be like The Jetsons. It will be like The Flintstones.

   Oh no! They blacklisted Pepe Le'Pew. Now where am I gonna get my "moves"?

   Joe Biden just came by for a visit. It's funny because by the time he leaves, the toilet's never flushed and the cat's always pregnant.

   If gas prices continue to rise, I'll have no choice but to purchase a windmill to power it.

   Bike Week is here at Daytona Beach. It's noisy and crazy! Speaking of noisy and crazy, next week is Tyke Week. It's a bunch of 5 year olds on Big Wheels driving on A1A hounding their moms for grilled cheese and putt putt golf.

   Daylight Saving Time. Where we lose an hour of eating.

   The subject of entomology really bugs me.

   Everyone's up in arms over Pepe LePew romancing a cat. Newsflash: Most men are skunks and we romance pu$$y. Same difference. And I can promise you that trait isn't learned from a cartoon.

   It is said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." What about the other eye?

   Anne, I had to quit my profession as a gynecologist. I got tunnel vision.

   You used to be able to somewhat cross the line. Nowadays, you can't come anywhere near the line. You used to be able to somewhat push the envelope. Nowadays you'd better pull back the envelope.

   I'm donating my body to science... fiction.

   Protestants. Some man didn't like God's version of Christianity (Catholicism), so they decided to fix what God got wrong.

   The price of great success is the greater fear of losing it all in the end.

   "The sum of the carrots are inversely proportional to the squared exponent of the cabbage divided by the vinegar and multiplied by the mayonnaise." ~Cole's Law