whitecube387 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Percentage of my texts that include the phrase "LOL" - 75% . Percentage of times I'm actually laughing out loud- 0.001%
←Rate | 06-28-2012 12:18 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My local Walmart has 28 checkout aisles except for when it's really busy then it only has 2 
←Rate | 04-16-2012 09:40 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all these laws cracking down on texting while driving, I think it's a little bit ironic that every police car I see has a open laptop attached to the dashboard. You telling me that's not a distraction? 
←Rate | 02-07-2012 11:32 by Whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I don't forward a chain letter and the next day I die.
←Rate | 09-16-2011 02:06 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would it kill them to put an extra 5 feet of rubber hose on the gas pumps so I dont have to look like a complete idiot whenever I pull up and my gas tank is on the wrong side
←Rate | 02-27-2011 11:05 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would it kill the gas stations to put an extra 5 feet of rubber hose on the pumps so I dont have to look like a complete idiot whenever I pull up to the gas pump and my tank is on the wrong side
←Rate | 02-26-2011 18:49 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women say looks don't matter and all they want is a guy who is smart and funny. But all they end up doing is laughing at whatever the stupid good looking guy says.
←Rate | 09-06-2010 15:51 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mr. Vending Machine genius-Please do not place all the fragile delicate goodies (such as poptarts, cookies, chips) on the top two rows. Everytime a delicious munchy falls and prematurely break and angel loses its wings :'(
←Rate | 11-03-2009 10:05 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves the Snooze button on his alarm clock because there is nothing like starting out your day with a little procrastination
←Rate | 10-31-2009 19:34 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  


   messageicon dreams of one day moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.
←Rate | 10-27-2009 13:11 by whitecube387 Comments (0)  



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