GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages
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Dear Facebook, stop asking me what's on my mind. We both know it's against community standards.
When a woman says, "Correct me if I'm wrong", do not under any, I mean any circumstances do it.
I'm combining Easter and April Fools Day together this year. I'm sending kids out to search for eggs I haven't hidden.
Not funny... We sprung forward so hard we are back in winter!
I think we should cancel April Fools this year. There is no prank topping reality.
Remember when we used to do prank calls growing up? Now those spam calls are karma getting us back.
If you take a social media sabbatical, don't announce it. Just make your last post something fun like "I wonder if there's a bear in this cave?"
Marriage tip: If your wife says she's only getting two things at the store, don't believe her. She's lying!
How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb? No one knows. They never get to keep the house.
My class essay on internal organs was too short. So I added an appendix.
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