Rick h. Funny Status Messages

   Do those Jehovah Witness guys on the bicycles ride south for the winter? Hadn't seen them in awhile.

   This new Facebook friend viewer application so you can see your friends online is kind of weird. Its like they don't even know you can see them.

   On my third cup of coffee and the day is looking real good. I think its going to be a great day. Did I mention its going to be a fantastic day.......

   Even after watching the interview tonight Charlie Manson was thinking "This boy has lost his mind!"

   Tonights Forecast in Libya: A beautiful full blue moon followed by a sky filled with long range missiles and a great air show.

   Finally some "CHANGE" we can sink our teeth into. Chicken and Waffles at the I-Hop!

   I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...

   Three things I cannot do: (1) pass up a piece of cake, (2) say "rural" and (3) open a can of biscuits without yelling when it pops.

   After seeing Jennifer Aniston new boyfriend, I just realized that possibly I did have a chance....

   You put a little vodka in the Jello shots and its all ok, but let me put in a little cystal meth and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy.....

   After several hours of intense negotiating at the car dealership, I'm happy to say that I'm the proud owner of a 30ft. inflatible Gorilla...Yeah baby.....

   Just found out this Beanie Baby collection was not a great investment.

   My neighbor must have not paid her internet bill. I can't get on the internet.

   Lindsay Lohan has been released, so hide your jewelry....

   Now thinking that I had the 455.00 back that I spent on fireworks....

   America... the only country in the world where not buckling your child in a seatbelt carries a bigger penalty than murdering your child.

   Casey Anthony didn't even get a slap on the hand. She did however get her fingers dirty by getting fingerprinted.

   I like to write out my self-worth in roman numerals. It looks so much more impressive.

   OMG! Anyone know the number of the water treatment plant? I need to let em know I just sent something their way that is going to cause trouble when it gets there....Lordy Lordy Lordy!

   Note to self: Lets keep those intimate times to ourselves..