ed status Funny Status Messages

   Like a good neighbor, stay over there

   Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it "Decisions, Decisions".

   If you pull up to a red light and the car next is on their phone step on the gas and brake, and watch how far they go

   Tequila is the Clear History button of my brain

   dont you hate it when you grab the last Capri Sun pouch and theres no straw to attached it with

   I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.

   "I wasn't that drunk.."Dude, you hugged an old guy with a white beard and cried, "DUMBLEDORE, YOU'RE BACK!"

   The News said its going to be 99 Degrees today but its going to feel like 110.... B!c$h, say its gone be 110 Degrees then!

   If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

   Fat girls think M.O.B stands for "McDonalds Or Burgerking"