Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   doesn't want to follow you on twitter because you're not going anywhere.

   If twitter went away, would anyone care?

   never a follower......that's what 'Twits' are for.

   hates it when you ask someone "How was your day?" and all they say is "good, and yours?" Thank you for summing up your day with just one word. Way to be detailed.

   if I had to comment your status with "What happened?" and you reply "I don't even want to talk about it...", do you think maybe you should have kept it to yourself?

   why is it that whenever there's two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?

   's dad asked him for a balloon ride, but he said "No, I don't wanna be a hoax"

   really thinks Myspace is a female...So many mood swings and changes.

   This status update is brought to you by your drug addiction to facebook.

   what's the difference between 'Live Feed' and 'News Feed?' Isn't all the news supposed to be Live!!!

   there sure is going to be a lot of people losing their virginity in the year 2012.

   Here's a question: You ever wonder how many REAL friends you had before the whole Facebook, Myspace, & Twitter thing came into existence?.......You're wondering now.

   why do people on Facebook make a effort out of telling everybody in a huge paragraph how bad & boring their day was to make people feel sympathetic...Get over it, everybody has their bad days but maybe it would be better if you kept it to yourself.

   I love a Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

   maybe Tiger Woods' relationship status should say "it's really complicated"

   Everybody would agree that 2009 has been a hard year for all of us.

   Why would a girl wanna be a Barbie? Barbie's are fake and dumb, yes DUMB. I'll take a natural woman any day thank you.

   FACEBOOK + CHRISTMAS = Endless status updates reminding you what month it is. Not to mention pages and pages of people's Xmas pics.

   Idea for a Christmas Party: Have two guys dress as Jesus and Santa Claus. One brings wine the other brings Eggnog with vodka. Santa brings his 12 reindeer playboy bunnies. All at your mother-in-law's house. ONE BIG JINGLE FOR THE YEAR.

   sorry 2009 but I'm going to have to file a restraining order on you. You're going to have to stay at least 365 days away from me. You caused to many problems.