DocNoland Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Sorry I’m late, I was busy proving my existence to an automatic faucet again.
←Rate | 08-05-2019 05:53 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I consider the seven deadly sins to be my best personality traits.
←Rate | 12-02-2019 07:59 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The subtle art of knowing better but doing it anyway.
←Rate | 12-04-2018 22:15 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was gonna make a subtle joke about the Rueben I got at a deli the other day but I'm not sure everyone would appreciate the rye humor.
←Rate | 02-11-2019 22:25 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friend zoned your wife again
←Rate | 10-17-2019 23:08 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just picked a crumb off my shirt to eat, but it was a fuzz. I chewed it for about 13 seconds before I realized it wasn’t food. My cry for help is almost complete.
←Rate | 08-05-2019 05:58 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moving is so fun, finally found this chloroform, hey does it taste expired to y....
←Rate | 12-04-2018 18:32 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon (eats exactly one apple) where is my health you wretched orb!
←Rate | 06-23-2019 22:16 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon now officially talking to myself but somehow I hear busy signals in my ears. I wonder if I can get call waiting?? Wait... Maybe its better I dont answer myself.
←Rate | 01-14-2019 00:49 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon You buy ready made chocolate milk? Well, aren't you just some kind of titan of finance?
←Rate | 12-04-2018 18:33 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon 5 year plan? I havent even planned this sentence volcano.
←Rate | 12-04-2018 18:34 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want to be fit enough to put my seatbelt on, without crying.
←Rate | 12-07-2021 20:14 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever feel like the best thing in the world happens to you at the worst times?
←Rate | 07-05-2019 00:18 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate how documentaries make me feel guilty for throwing straws into a turtle's egg nest.
←Rate | 02-03-2021 21:09 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon -I think one of my friends gets the award for “most insightful drunk” for his comment, “It’s such a nice night…if only the sun were out!” Too bad he didn’t get to see much more of that night.
←Rate | 02-09-2021 02:19 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


   messageicon what does a fella have to do to get a beautiful girl to come home with him and check him to tumors. I just wanna be safe!
←Rate | 12-13-2021 15:19 by DocNoland Comments (0)  


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