Eddy Funny Status Messages

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Page: 9 of 16

   messageicon happy 4/20 ......smoke it if you got it
←Rate | 04-20-2015 02:05 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon the boss keeps talking about a company 401 k ..... I don't think I can run that far
←Rate | 03-30-2015 22:36 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex is great with a pole.... I have the bruises to prove it
←Rate | 03-28-2015 00:40 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've thought of becoming vegetarian but I can never find any bacon seeds for the garden
←Rate | 03-21-2015 17:54 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I've done a lot of "marathons"
←Rate | 03-20-2015 03:17 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon to the lady in the office complaining about her man.... you can't spell MANAGEMENT without MANAGE MEN. if you can't manage 1 guy don't expect a promotion to be in charge of 10 men
←Rate | 03-18-2015 17:42 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Single Awareness Day ..... it's a S.A.D. day
←Rate | 02-15-2015 10:52 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon there's no "I" in "we" ....unless you're a gamer #Wii
←Rate | 01-23-2015 02:49 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon in another 40 years, i'll have a set of patriot balls
←Rate | 01-21-2015 22:44 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wonder why all 3 insurance companies don't combine & call themselves "Alstate Farm Bureau"
←Rate | 01-21-2015 22:42 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon some people are like push-up bras....they make a mountain out of a mole hill
←Rate | 12-15-2014 04:56 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought of going Amish once....I didn't have the WHEEL POWER to do it
←Rate | 11-07-2014 02:48 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon spoon + fork = spork whisk + knife = wife ....they can stir things up & kill you
←Rate | 10-21-2014 20:10 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon somewhere there a stoner watching the news hearing about Ebola & they ask "a bowl of what"
←Rate | 10-18-2014 16:32 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon *gets can of compressed air & cleans inside computer*....all my friends are online so I just gave all my friends a blow job
←Rate | 10-05-2014 01:49 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon new rule....everyone given a "life sentence" by a judge has to start racing NASCAR.....one of them will die fast
←Rate | 09-20-2014 23:35 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn't find any
←Rate | 09-20-2014 21:40 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon too much weed & you're "high".....too much beer & you're "drunk".....do both at same time & I become a "HUNK"
←Rate | 09-18-2014 03:42 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon all my teachers know computers....they used to code "C++" on my school papers
←Rate | 08-25-2014 17:14 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon the FDA can approve breast implants so why cant they decide that medicinal weed is ok everywhere?.... I haven't seen an autopsy where "small boobs" was cause of death.
←Rate | 08-23-2014 19:46 by Eddy Comments (0)  



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