Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon For all those calling for "Fathers Day" to be called "Special Person's" day, you already have a day of your own. It's April 1st.
←Rate | 06-06-2018 16:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gotta listen to the little man inside. The little man knows all. Unless, your little man is an idiot.
←Rate | 12-01-2017 19:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I'm usually fine with going home.
←Rate | 04-08-2018 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s time for a new holiday, where people give gifts they don’t want.
←Rate | 01-01-2018 04:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We are not even close." -Romans building Rome, end of first day.
←Rate | 05-04-2018 09:01 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
←Rate | 05-05-2018 07:14 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Apologies to all you millennials -- the Disney Channel never prepared you for all this.
←Rate | 09-28-2017 20:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: North Korea missile test delayed due to problems with Windows 3.1x
←Rate | 08-12-2017 07:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember son -- when you text a girl, you are also texting at least 5 of her friends.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 23:44 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worse thing about flirting with disaster is when disaster turns away and says, "Ew."
←Rate | 09-28-2017 20:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of the best decisions I've ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
←Rate | 01-26-2018 05:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mark Zuckerberg is probably the last person we should trust, and I mean that both literally and alphabetically
←Rate | 04-11-2018 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
←Rate | 06-12-2018 07:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon WebMD is updating their servers because of a virus. Well, they think it's a virus, but it could be kidney failure, a heart murmur, gallstones, or possibly appendicitis.
←Rate | 06-16-2018 17:50 by Fluff!! Comments (1)  


   messageicon My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
←Rate | 07-02-2018 09:49 by @KylaDenniston Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just bought a new picture frame to hang a photo in my wall that came with a stock photo of a really beutiful family that reminds me of a lot of my facebook friends, who I dont know either.
←Rate | 07-31-2018 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk but never got the chants.
←Rate | 08-06-2018 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook just suggested I poke my wife.....yeah good one Facebook.....been trying for weeks!
←Rate | 08-28-2018 09:05 by Stevielea Comments (2)  


   messageicon i bought an awesome watch the other day, It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it.
←Rate | 09-23-2018 23:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They told me I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic, but so far I’ve made two jugs and a vase!
←Rate | 10-11-2018 06:26 Comments (3)  



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