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Joser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 8 of 41
You know it's a bad traffic jam when people start are sitting on top of their cars..
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07-05-2010 13:41 by
JOser
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I am under: paid, pressure, followed, rated, the gun, the radar, the influence, the weather and the wrong impression. WTF
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07-05-2010 13:40 by
Joser
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So what's the dating website for drunk, blonde, recent college graduates who do not want to find a job called?
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07-05-2010 13:39 by
Joser
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The Revolutionary War went on for like 8 years, yet we settle for a 3 day weekend? The founders would be so disappointed.
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07-05-2010 13:38 by
Joser
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Hearses are so depressing. I'd like my casket transported via segway.
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07-05-2010 13:38 by
Joser
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America: We blow sh*t up better than the rest of yous funny-talkin' countries.
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07-05-2010 13:37 by
Joser
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Nobody gets treated worse than a fast food worker who gets an order wrong.
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07-05-2010 13:36 by
Joser
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No I wasn't born in a barn, but you know who was? Jesus.
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07-05-2010 13:36 by
Joser
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I have mosquito bites on my feet and I'm thinking the knee is probably the easiest point of amputation.
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07-05-2010 13:36 by
Joser
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Ugly is such an ugly word. If you must describe me I'd prefer if you used the term "handsomely-challenged
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07-05-2010 13:35 by
Joser
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List of things I've accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
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07-03-2010 14:40 by
Joser
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One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
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07-03-2010 14:39 by
Joser
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Anyone with a pool want to be my new best friend?
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07-03-2010 14:39 by
Joser
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They call it "Cash for Gold" because "Cash for all the Sh*t You Stole to Support Your Meth Habit" didn't have the same ring to it.
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07-03-2010 14:38 by
Joser
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My new hobby is intentionally putting myself into awkward situations
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07-03-2010 14:37 by
Joser
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BREAKING NBA NEWS: LeBron James has decided to go with Team Jacob
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07-02-2010 18:52 by
Joser
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I'm not having a kid until they come with built-in mute buttons.
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07-02-2010 18:34 by
Joser
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it's canada day, so to all my canadian followers out there I say, "happy fourth of july in three days."
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07-02-2010 18:34 by
Joser
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I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I pick my hotels solely based upon the items they show in the pictures of their continental breakfast.
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07-02-2010 18:33 by
Joser
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What do Edward Cullen and a Christmas tree have in common? Their tiny balls sparkle.
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07-01-2010 22:51 by
Joser
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