Joser Funny Status Messages

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Page: 8 of 41

   messageicon Suffering from male pattern drunkenness.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't call you crazy. All I said was, "you look like you might own 400 cats"
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's a bad traffic jam when people start are sitting on top of their cars..
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:41 by JOser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am under: paid, pressure, followed, rated, the gun, the radar, the influence, the weather and the wrong impression. WTF
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what's the dating website for drunk, blonde, recent college graduates who do not want to find a job called?
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Revolutionary War went on for like 8 years, yet we settle for a 3 day weekend? The founders would be so disappointed.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hearses are so depressing. I'd like my casket transported via segway.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon America: We blow sh*t up better than the rest of yous funny-talkin' countries.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody gets treated worse than a fast food worker who gets an order wrong.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon No I wasn't born in a barn, but you know who was? Jesus.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have mosquito bites on my feet and I'm thinking the knee is probably the easiest point of amputation.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ugly is such an ugly word. If you must describe me I'd prefer if you used the term "handsomely-challenged
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon List of things I've accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the major benefits of using a combined 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner is having enough room leftover on the shower caddy for the beer.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone with a pool want to be my new best friend?
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon They call it "Cash for Gold" because "Cash for all the Sh*t You Stole to Support Your Meth Habit" didn't have the same ring to it.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My new hobby is intentionally putting myself into awkward situations
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NBA NEWS: LeBron James has decided to go with Team Jacob
←Rate | 07-02-2010 18:52 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm not having a kid until they come with built-in mute buttons.
←Rate | 07-02-2010 18:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's canada day, so to all my canadian followers out there I say, "happy fourth of july in three days."
←Rate | 07-02-2010 18:34 by Joser Comments (1)  



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