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JAKE Funny Status Messages
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Page: 8 of 8
I spent alot of time trying to get all of my eldest relatives together in one room with no luck............. Then BINGO
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05-25-2018 22:23 by
Jake
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Where do babies like to go for lunch....... Hooters
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05-25-2018 20:34 by
Jake
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What type of car does an electrician drive........ A Volts-wagon.
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05-25-2018 04:21 by
Jake
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. When Chewbacca needs to go does he use a toilet, or dose Han Solo take him for a walk?
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05-25-2018 02:42 by
Jake
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Starcents, it's like Starbucks only cheaper.
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05-24-2018 03:24 by
Jake
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Cruelty is people with back pain having to bend over at the pharmacy to get a tube of Bengay from the bottom shelf.
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05-22-2018 15:33 by
Jake
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What is a person who goes off their diet called? A deserter
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05-19-2018 15:05 by
Jake
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If woman are so good at multitasking. Then why can't they sit down and shut up?
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05-19-2018 15:00 by
Jake
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Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner's high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
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05-19-2018 14:56 by
Jake
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I find it annoying when old people poke me at wedding and say "you'll be next." So I started to do the same thing to them at funerals.
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05-17-2018 16:43 by
Jake
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A woman arrested for prostitution. Judge: How do you plead? Woman: Not guilty. I'm a sales woman. Judge: What do you sell ? Woman: Condoms with a free demontration.
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05-16-2018 18:23 by
Jake
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Finally found my wife's G spot....... Her sister had it all along.
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05-14-2018 14:39 by
Jake
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Confuciushe says: Man who fight with wife all day, gets no piece at night.
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05-14-2018 14:34 by
Jake
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God gave us shins so we could find things in the dark.
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05-12-2018 16:53 by
Jake
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My wife and I broke because of my gambling...... I hit the lottery and left her.
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05-12-2018 16:51 by
Jake
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Gave my boss a mother's day card. Because "he" is one of the top ten mothers on my list.
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05-12-2018 00:34 by
Jake
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You know a restaurant must be serving bad food when you see a mouse throwing up in the restroom.
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05-11-2018 18:21 by
Jake
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Bought a stick deodarant. Instruction say "remove cap and push up bottom"....... I have trouble walking, but when I fart, the room does smells nice.
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05-10-2018 15:31 by
Jake
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1
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When I see "you are here" on a map makes me wonder how did they know I was going to be there.
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05-10-2018 15:25 by
Jake
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Every time the doorbell rings my dog will go and sit in a corner........ He' a boxer.
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05-09-2018 05:37 by
Jake
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