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Joser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 7 of 41
After all these years, I'm surprised nobody at CSI has found the light switch in their office.
70
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07-08-2010 18:56 by
Joser
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Don't worry about people from your past, There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
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05-24-2010 11:09 by
Joser
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I laid awake all night again worrying about why I'm always so tired
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06-24-2010 23:24 by
Joser
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once cops get smart enough to put a breathalyzer test at the end of a Taco Bell drive-thru WE'RE ALL SCREWED!
118
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05-21-2010 18:57 by
Joser
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Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
59
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07-08-2010 18:57 by
Joser
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Saw a fashion report saying that with low riding jeans in style, butt cracks are the new cleavage. What was wrong with the old cleavage???
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06-24-2010 23:19 by
Joser
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I'm waiting for the day Ziploc quits the pretentiousness with the sandwiches and just starts putting weed right on the box.
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05-06-2010 21:40 by
Joser
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The Revolutionary War went on for like 8 years, yet we settle for a 3 day weekend? The founders would be so disappointed.
32
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07-05-2010 13:38 by
Joser
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working, and having short Facebook breaks... but is now on Facebook with short work breaks... much more fun!
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04-24-2010 12:48 by
Joser
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If TMZ doesn't follow me home from work today, I'm done wearing these ridiculous Lady Gaga costumes.
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05-19-2010 21:13 by
Joser
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My boss didn't know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.
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04-30-2010 01:21 by
Joser
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The fact that I can buy a song while on the toilet using my phone means no one is really working on cancer, are they?
69
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04-30-2010 12:59 by
Joser
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After 2 years I finally found the back piece to one of my remotes. This means more to me than it probably should.
69
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05-17-2010 09:58 by
Joser
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How come so many people Roll On The Floor *Laughing*? If I'm rolling on the floor, it's usually because I'm on fire. Send help.
69
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06-02-2010 14:13 by
Joser
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The FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working.
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06-03-2010 13:25 by
Joser
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Ladies, I'd like to remind you that trying to play "hard to get" doesn't work when you're already "hard to want".
148
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07-14-2010 21:32 by
Joser
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How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?
74
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04-28-2010 14:07 by
Joser
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Censorship is █ very ██████ █████ in █████ ██████...
37
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03-30-2010 18:23 by
Joser
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I'm picturing you naked right now. Airbrushed, Photoshopped and digitally enhanced, but totally naked...
37
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04-23-2010 13:27 by
Joser
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I have accumulated considerable wealth which, along with my collection of firearms, makes me very attractive to women. (Every rap song)
37
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06-18-2010 18:41 by
Joser
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