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snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 7 of 22
I wish I was a gloworm,,, a gloworm's never glum,,, cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum
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04-01-2012 17:36 by
snotty
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I don't have a pet,, so I adopted this spider, but the stupid thing won't even chase the laser pen,,, It's got 8 eyes so I *know* he sees it.
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04-01-2012 17:39 by
snotty
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Facebook feels a lot like Group Therapy...only everyone is talking at once and no one wants to be cured
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04-01-2012 21:02 by
snotty
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Lord Almighty, Adele...REALLY ?,, Just burn his house down & get on with your life already.
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04-02-2012 07:49 by
snotty
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I feel a little better when I remember that Lady Gaga is just as scared of us, as we are of it.
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04-02-2012 08:40 by
snotty
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My bucket list is still half Original Recipe,,, and half Extra Crispy.
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04-02-2012 08:55 by
snotty
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There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those that recognize how diverse people are, and those that think there are only 2 kinds of people
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04-02-2012 10:16 by
snotty
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I someitmes wonder what magical things would've been created had we all put our creativity towards something other than making the internet laugh
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04-02-2012 12:08 by
snotty
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King Arthur: "What size and shape should we make the table?"................Sir Mix-a-lot: " I LIKE 'EM ROUND...AND BIG!"
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04-02-2012 12:12 by
snotty
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A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort,, it is equal to one night.. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers.
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04-02-2012 22:47 by
snotty
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There's a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road, and all I can think,, is that one of you,, is without your protective headgear today.
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04-03-2012 10:48 by
snotty
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OH MY LORD!! I almost sat down on the toilet without my droid...
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04-03-2012 10:53 by
snotty
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These tornadoes are awful...I blame the violence in tornado themed video games
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04-03-2012 20:24 by
snotty
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The plain cake donut is always the last one picked.... Come with me poor little plain cake donut,, you can be on my team.
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04-03-2012 21:57 by
snotty
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Wait,, there's a "pro-anorexia" community? That's a thing?.. Oh,, I bet they have the worst luncheons ever.
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04-03-2012 22:05 by
snotty
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Sometimes I worry my posts are too cerebrle... cerabrall... cerrebrel...
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04-03-2012 22:24 by
snotty
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Ahem,,,,, Now As a recovering kleptomaniac,,,, I know how to take a joke.
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04-04-2012 07:20 by
snotty
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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.. Now we have like 50 million dumb guys still posting a bad joke over and over
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04-04-2012 16:19 by
snotty
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Dyslexics better do it.
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04-04-2012 18:27 by
snotty
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Trouble's brewing at Symphony Hall.. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th,,, and the bassists are loaded.
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04-04-2012 18:29 by
snotty
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