Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon You don’t lose friends. You lose undercover haters. Real friends can never be lost.
←Rate | 01-07-2023 15:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whistleblower comes forward with claims that strangers drag him from place to place, make him sign papers, read words on monitors and he hardly gets any ice cream.
←Rate | 05-22-2022 03:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was born a male and I identify as a male, but according to Stouffers portions, I'm a family of four.
←Rate | 06-07-2022 12:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Australian Kiss ~ Kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
←Rate | 06-23-2022 01:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They’re not red flags, they’re fun facts about me.
←Rate | 06-24-2022 23:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does the sign on the out-of-business brothel say? Beat it, we’re closed.
←Rate | 06-26-2022 00:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize that they meant autumn, and not the collapse of civilization.
←Rate | 06-27-2022 03:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is only one way to avoid criticism: Say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing.
←Rate | 06-27-2022 03:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I grew up with six siblings. That's how I learned to dance, waiting for the bathroom.
←Rate | 07-23-2022 23:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.
←Rate | 01-23-2023 03:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drivers ignoring winter conditions, may be subject to natural selection.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 19:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I want the truth!” Independent fact checkers, with the direction of the FBI, have concluded that you can’t handle the truth.
←Rate | 01-07-2023 12:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just heard my knee crack so loud, I expected it to glow in the dark.
←Rate | 01-07-2023 13:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you tell your girl to shave her baby maker and you wake up bald.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 01:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing brings more peace, when you stop giving a f*ck.
←Rate | 01-18-2023 18:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One way to be hospitable, is to help visitors know when it’s time to leave.
←Rate | 01-19-2023 02:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I do this role play, where she tells me all the things that need to be fixed around the house and I pretend this is the first time I’m hearing about it. 😂
←Rate | 01-23-2023 03:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An idea: “Broke Back Mountain 2” all female cast. This would smash all box office records.
←Rate | 06-05-2022 02:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon China Hut: People that don’t like cats, just haven’t had them prepared properly.
←Rate | 06-08-2022 01:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jurassic World is about a pharma company that uses a DNA-altering pathogen to destroy farmland and deliberately cause a worldwide food crisis to force everyone to buy their products. Science Fiction is Fun!
←Rate | 06-20-2022 03:31 Comments (0)  



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