jdpower Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'jdpower': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 11

   messageicon If my blood alcohol was Butler's shooting percentage, I could legally drive.
←Rate | 04-05-2011 00:31 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first guy to blow a vuvuzela at an NFL game will be getting his a$$ kicked.
←Rate | 07-20-2010 14:23 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon South African authorities are estimating that 40,000 sex workers will trickle in for the World Cup. Wow! I had no idea hookers like soccer so much!
←Rate | 05-24-2010 18:46 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting together a crew for the Rapture, Just booked 4 Penske trucks for Sunday. I'm still in need of 2 drivers and 8 laborers. Meet me at the Wal-Mart parking lot at 6:00 AM Saturday, a BBQ will follow
←Rate | 05-18-2011 22:29 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm thinking about buying an invisible box that they trap mimes in.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 21:25 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon In retrospect, everything is foreshadowing.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 21:20 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBC News: high brow. Fox News: low brow. Al Jazeera: unibrow.
←Rate | 01-28-2011 18:52 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pat Robertson is now blaming the oil spill in The Gulf of Mexico on promiscuous dinosaurs.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 14:03 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Cher is going to get lonely once the rest of us have died.
←Rate | 01-05-2011 20:52 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Richard Blumenthal clarifies - he served at 'Vie et Nam' a restaurant in Greenwich
←Rate | 05-18-2010 17:41 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTF is up with people hating on HipHop these days? Thanks to Lil Wayne,I now know that a "Goblin" is better than a "Goon", Pitbull taught Me how to count to 4 in Spanish, and Plies taught me how to be intimate with a woman by pouring Kool-Aid down her a$$
←Rate | 07-15-2010 14:13 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon i am pleased that BP has stopped the flow of water into the Oil of Mexico
←Rate | 07-16-2010 00:42 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Barack Obama's tweets are too official. Just once I'd like to see something like: "Just took a Biden-sized dump".
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:17 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Guys Named "Rhys" --Please tell us how it's pronounced already, or prepare to be known as "Buddy"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 03:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon French couple claims to have found 271 unknown Picassos. Suspiciously, one of them is "Still Life with McRib."
←Rate | 11-29-2010 21:31 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had to use my AK this afternoon.. Still, it was a good day, as I only used it to scratch my back.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 21:16 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting to think those 4 years of "P. Diddy Language" I took in grad school may have been a wizz-aste.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:22 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Composeurs pretend to write classical music.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 10:52 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
←Rate | 08-31-2010 11:54 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon Just ONE Saturday night I'd like to go without drunk-dialing Barbara Walters.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:51 by jdpower Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left