Joser Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon 69 is the Kamikaze of oral sex. "If I'm going down, you're coming with me!"
←Rate | 05-01-2010 14:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If I weren't such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face"
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Deleting your Facebook account is a quick way to find out what people will say at your funeral.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 17:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon friend request you on facebook?? woah, slow down we just met. tell me about yourself...oh, you're in the mafia AND you're a farmer? check please.
←Rate | 04-27-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got carded for a box of Nicorette. I guess they don't want you to quit using tobacco until you're over 18...
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hearing your legs creaking as you get into the standing split pose in yoga class is a sure way of telling people that you havent been laid in a while
←Rate | 05-10-2010 13:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a sign that said END ROAD WORK. I find it annoying too, but I don't think I would protest against it.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 17:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon They call it "Cash for Gold" because "Cash for all the Sh*t You Stole to Support Your Meth Habit" didn't have the same ring to it.
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?
←Rate | 04-06-2010 05:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I meant to text: 'sweety pie'. What I actually texted: 'sweaty pig'. Proofreading: it can save relationships.
←Rate | 05-14-2010 19:01 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon people will believe anything if you whisper it.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 18:08 by joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Switched my GPS to the male voice. Got tired of it announcing turns after we'd passed them and telling me to stop and ask for directions.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 19:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a chance to listen to my voicemails. I was pretty popular in 2009.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok, TV coroners. We get it. You're comfortable around dead bodies. You can stop putting your sandwiches on them.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 20:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon headed out for a quiet beer. Followed by ten noisy ones...
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like you... People say I've got no taste, but I like you...
←Rate | 04-27-2010 02:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When in roam, watch out for those hidden charges...
←Rate | 05-20-2010 13:14 by Joser | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts...
←Rate | 05-20-2010 13:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best things in life are free.... or have no interest or payments for one full year.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:49 by Joser Comments (0)  



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