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Joser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 6 of 41
These food stamps taste terrible...
49
9
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07-01-2010 17:31 by
Joser
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69 is the Kamikaze of oral sex. "If I'm going down, you're coming with me!"
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05-01-2010 14:30 by
Joser
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"If I weren't such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face"
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06-01-2010 13:08 by
Joser
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friend request you on facebook?? woah, slow down we just met. tell me about yourself...oh, you're in the mafia AND you're a farmer? check please.
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04-27-2010 18:57 by
Joser
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Got carded for a box of Nicorette. I guess they don't want you to quit using tobacco until you're over 18...
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05-05-2010 12:10 by
Joser
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Hearing your legs creaking as you get into the standing split pose in yoga class is a sure way of telling people that you havent been laid in a while
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05-10-2010 13:57 by
Joser
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I saw a sign that said END ROAD WORK. I find it annoying too, but I don't think I would protest against it.
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06-16-2010 17:57 by
Joser
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Deleting your Facebook account is a quick way to find out what people will say at your funeral.
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06-29-2010 17:44 by
Joser
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They call it "Cash for Gold" because "Cash for all the Sh*t You Stole to Support Your Meth Habit" didn't have the same ring to it.
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07-03-2010 14:38 by
Joser
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people will believe anything if you whisper it.
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06-29-2010 18:08 by
joser
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Ok, TV coroners. We get it. You're comfortable around dead bodies. You can stop putting your sandwiches on them.
54
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06-08-2010 20:31 by
Joser
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Switched my GPS to the male voice. Got tired of it announcing turns after we'd passed them and telling me to stop and ask for directions.
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06-25-2010 19:09 by
Joser
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Just got a chance to listen to my voicemails. I was pretty popular in 2009.
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06-28-2010 21:19 by
Joser
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We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
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07-01-2010 17:30 by
Joser
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headed out for a quiet beer. Followed by ten noisy ones...
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07-07-2010 17:52 by
Joser
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I like you... People say I've got no taste, but I like you...
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04-27-2010 02:28 by
Joser
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When in roam, watch out for those hidden charges...
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05-20-2010 13:14 by
Joser
| Tags: Filtered
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It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts...
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05-20-2010 13:15 by
Joser
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The best things in life are free.... or have no interest or payments for one full year.
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05-21-2010 17:49 by
Joser
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The law says I can't drive with an open container, but it says nothing about jello shots!!
27
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05-21-2010 18:55 by
Joser
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